giving a prepared message

I've written three previous posts on what it's like for me, a Quaker, to prepare a message to give in meeting for worship, and on Sunday I gave the message, trying to be present to the Spirit in the process. Here I give some self-criticisms and then share about how it went giving the message.

Self-criticisms
I wish I was funnier when I speak. I think I take myself too seriously in that setting, because I'm funny in normal life...but telling jokes isn't my forte. I like it when others do this--well, most of the time, at least. Sometimes it's distracting because it has nothing to do with what they're going to talk about. But when they tell a funny story that gets at the heart of their message it just draws everyone right in, and I don't do that well. Also, I wish I was a better story teller. I know people relate to and remember things better when there are stories, but I don't naturally think of stories. I think of concepts and questions. I told one story Sunday besides the passage in John, although it wasn't about me. I talked about how I relate to the things I was talking about, but I wished I had some stories that would illustrate it better. I don't know if this is just a personality thing, but I want to work on developing this better in the future.

Giving the Message
I had the brainstorm that it would be cool to have something fragrant in the worship space so that we would have a sensual reminder of what it would have been like to be there. I thought about finding a really fragrant perfume, but I know some people are allergic or sensitive to synthetic fragrances, so instead I encouraged people via our e-group to bring daffodils or other fragrant flowers from their yards. (People might be allergic to these as well, but are more likely to have their meds on-hand, especially at this time of year with everything blooming.) This way we had the fragrance as well as the added bonus of a way for people to participate and offer something to Christ like Mary did with the perfume (although, of course, much cheaper!).

I think that part went well. First, I went out and gathered a bunch of daffodils and daphnia from around the meetinghouse that morning, and that was a good time of centering. I was grateful to be outside, grateful for spring and the beautiful fragrance, and focused on the simple task of choosing, picking and arranging flowers. Preparing the meeting space helped me prepare my self and my heart. Second, watching people bring in their flowers brought me joy, and it looked like it brought them joy as well. Even though we're Quakers, I think sometimes it's really helpful to have something you can put your hands on to offer to God, or as a reminder of God's presence. I think the daffodils played that part on Sunday: a symbol that drew us into the presence of God and that we could bring as an offering of our intention to be aware of and follow God.

I appreciated the music that happened before the message. The people who led music chose good songs that went with the theme, and this also helped me center. When I became distracted, wondering how I'd do, I reminded myself to focus on the words and be present, and to trust that God would work through me even if none of my words said anything to anyone there. God was going to be at work anyway.

I had a full manuscript in front of me but I didn't read it most of the time. There were certain things I wanted to say very clearly and so those I read, but otherwise I used the manuscript as a reminder. I think it's a good idea to read the manuscript out loud a few times, standing and looking around as if you're up in front of people, but I didn't do that this time. I just read it several times silently.

In a pre-service prayer time, Paul (my father-in-law and the worship coordinator at our meeting) asked if there was anything specific he could pray for, and what I was most worried about was that I would ask the questions I had prepared and no one would answer them and it would just be awkward. My worry (as most worries are) was unfounded. Many people shared when I opened it up for them to do so--so many that it took way longer than I anticipated, but it was really good stuff. I found myself near tears several times as people shared deeply and vulnerably about the ways they could relate to the characters in the story. I was so grateful to be there to hear God speak through them.

That's really my favorite thing about meeting for worship, whether programmed or unprogrammed--when we hear God together through more than one voice. This can happen if there's a regular sermon and a good amount of open worship, but I really like what we've been experimenting with over the last year or so in my meeting of having the message be more of a dialogue, or setting up the passage and asking good questions. Sometimes the person who's brought the message will ask such a good question that there's no time for the speaker to share much--the message comes out of the congregation. It's kind of difficult but really important to be able to discern in those instances whether the prepared message should still be given, or if God is speaking in a different way through those gathered. I hope to become better and better at that kind of discernment.

Anyway, Sunday I was very moved by what people shared. It added such richness and depth to what I brought that it humbled me, but also gave me great joy. I was grateful that what I had to offer simply became one piece of the worship offering we lifted up together in community to the present, living God, the Messiah who died and calls us to take up our cross, but who also lives and gives us more life than we could imagine.

preparing a message, part 3

I like bringing a message in programmed worship only every once in a while, because I have plenty of time to think and process beforehand, and even afterwards before I start thinking about the next one! I gave the message yesterday--or at least, I prepared and gave some info about a passage and encouraged people to listen to Christ about it and share what they heard. In this post I'll give a refresher on my topic (in case you didn't read parts 1 & 2 or forgot), and thoughts about some more preparation I did since I posted last. I'll write another post with reflections on actually giving the message, because this one ended up being too long if I put it all in! So stay tuned...

Refresher:
I spoke on John 12:1-8, part of a sermon series we're doing leading up to Easter called "Wondrous Encounters." All the messages in March and April are coming out of the stories of people encountering Jesus in the book of John. The story I spoke about was the one where Mary of Bethany (sister of Lazarus and Martha) anoints Jesus' feet with a costly perfume.

More Prep
My seminary class on preaching came in handy. I used several things I learned in that class and in my required, year-long seminary speech class. In speech we learned how to speak clearly and stand so that we look confident, which I tried to do as often as I remembered! (No hands in pockets, stand on both feet, etc. It's amazing as I've watched others speak how much these things really do have that effect on the listener/watcher.) In my preaching class we were required to write out our sermons, partially because we had to turn in the manuscript, and partially because they think it's a good idea to speak from a manuscript. I personally don't care whether people speak from a manuscript or not, as long as they do what's most helpful for them. I find that for myself, I'm better prepared if I write out a manuscript. I have all the ideas in my head, but if I don't write them down I'm not as clear about where I'm going and what my point is. If I speak from notes I generally end up talking too long or going around in circles. So for me, it's important to write out a manuscript, even if I don't stick to it completely. I've seen poorly executed sermons given both from a written manuscript and when they're unscripted, so I think it really depends on you, your style, your personality, and the way the Spirit happens to be working in you at the time. The important thing is paying attention to the Spirit and how you're being led. For myself, if I don't write a manuscript it's usually because I've procrastinated, not that I want to be spontaneously led by the Spirit, and I think this shows and I'm less able to pay attention to the Spirit in the moment because I'm searching for words.

The other thing that I used from my preaching class was the suggestion of how to formulate the point you're trying to get across. The text we read for the class was Thomas Long's Exegetical Method for Preaching, and I think it was out of that text that the professors for our class suggested we formulate three main things in order to hone in on what point we wanted to make and how we were going to make it: Focus, Function and Form. (They even all start with the same letter, like a good 3-point sermon...) Cheesiness aside, it's actually really helpful. The form is a single-sentence summary of what the sermon is about. The function is a single-sentence summary of what you want the hearers to experience, what you want it to do to them. The form is how you're going to deliver the message--so it could be a 3-point sermon, it could be expository or narrative or dialogical or what have you. My focus, function and form were as follows:

Focus: Mary anointed Jesus as Messiah, but as a Messiah who was going to die.
Function: Self-examination of times we try to co-opt Jesus and his message in order to gain something for ourselves (Judas), or we simply misunderstand what Christ is calling us to do (disciples), or sometimes, like Mary, we don’t understand but we get something profoundly right. Recognition that we all have gifts to offer, but we can't offer them with strings attached—only offering them to the Messiah we expect or desire--but must offer them to the true Messiah, even unto death.
Form: Intro, read the text, ask for people's initial thoughts and what stands out; develop characters, ask who people relate to and why and give space for them to answer. Do a little wrap-up; queries to go into open worship.

One other major thing I had to do to prepare was to discern, like in unprogrammed worship, which message was for me alone, which might be something I needed to share with a few friends, and which message was for the group that would be gathered there on Sunday morning. When I wrote "part 2" about preparing this message, most of what I wrote was stuff that I was dealing with or I was interested in, but it wasn't really what I needed to share with the gathered group.

At the same time, I wanted at least some of what I shared to be personal, because others connect better with it if they can tell you're not just preaching at them, you're speaking from your heart about what you're working on, and you're willing to be open and vulnerable before them and before God. It gives them freedom to do so as well, I think. So I tried to incorporate things that were challenging me about the passage, but the main thing I wrote about in my last entry (about "the poor you always have with you") actually didn't end up in the message at all.

This was the first time that I preached where I tried to make it more of a teaching or guided prayer time, rather than just giving a 20-minute sermon straight through. The "Form" I listed above is basically what I did, pausing twice to have people share on pre-determined questions I posted with Keynote on the screen behind me.

Tomorrow I'll post about how the service actually went, how I felt before and during, and moments I was aware of the Spirit or not.

rob bell: love wins

I'm just barely getting in under the wire for this month's Quaker blog carnival! I'm glad QuakerQuaker decided to suggest people write on this book, because I'd been hearing about it and wanted to check it out for myself, and this gave me a good excuse. Plus, completely independently of me, Joel bought the e-book, so I took it as a sign!

Rob Bell wrote a really important book here, one I appreciate and found helpful. As he said himself, he didn't actually say anything new--he said stuff people have been saying for a long time--but he said it in his own voice, in this time, in this context, and I think that's really helpful. For those of you who haven't heard of him, he's fairly well-respected in the evangelical world for his NOOMA videos, which explain theological concepts of grace and love, sin, redemption, etc. in story. He's also written some other books. (I'll trust you to do your own Amazon search for those if you're interested.) He's pastor of a large church that connects mainly with young adults.

So, why is this book important?

The full title tells a little about what the book is about (as a title should!): Love Wins: A Book About Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived. That's quite the list of topics to cover in this brief text! But he manages it, and does so well. The book's been getting a lot of attention--both positive and negative--because of various sides' opinions about its tendency toward universalism. Bell writes in an engaging way that is biblically based and pays attention to the needs in the world and in our particular culture, and presents an authentic Christianity that connects with people today and is anything but watered down. In fact, I think he shows that the "Christianity" that is often spouted by those who often get the most press is the one that's watered down, or too black and white with no nuance. Bell sees and names the nuance--which really shouldn't be nuance, because his point is that God created people, God loves people, and God doesn't get any pleasure out of throwing them into hell, but people do have a choice and can put themselves in hell if they want to, here and now, and drag others with them, and they can continue to be in that hell as long as they want, even after they die.

I'm not saying I think this book will become a Christian classic, but it's important largely because it speaks our language now. He writes like he talks, so this book is really accessible. (If you've ever seen any of his videos you can picture him while you're reading, with his black-framed glasses, each expression and gesture he would use...) Accessibility is really important, because although he tackles theological issues, he doesn't do so with the voice of a theologian, which, as much as it pains me to say it, just isn't often listened to by "normal" people. (Just us abnormal ones.)

I was really impressed how he goes through all the atonement theories (theological theories of what Jesus' death and resurrection mean) in a way that no one would realize that they were being taught any kind of theories. His point is something I've been saying as well (but he has a much larger audience, so, go Rob Bell!), that all these theories are well and good, but we need to make sure we're not stuck on just one or it can become an idol to us, or actually injurious to those who grow up with only one view of who God is and who we are in relation to God. The people who wrote what came to be the New Testament were providing metaphors from their culture to understand what this all meant, and we're allowed to do that too--that's how we connect with God now, how God draws us to God's self. This is a very Quaker way of understanding God, because our denomination is based on the idea that God continues to speak to us here and now, every day, in ways that we can understand. We don't just know about God from ancient texts, but we know God through the stories of our lives.

OK, so is he a universalist? Yes and no. He's definitely Christian (in my opinion), because he thinks the only way to God is through Jesus and the saving work that happened through him. He doesn't say definitively that everyone will be "saved" (i.e. be with God for eternity in some form of heaven), but he suggests that all people will always have the choice to come to God. This doesn't end with death--because why would God create all these people, who God loves completely and utterly, and send them to an eternity in hell because they never heard about God/Jesus or they heard in a way that was harmful or they had a bad upbringing or whatever?

And Bell doesn't just say this, he backs it up with scripture. I'm not going to give you all the references because you should just go and read his book. (It's not very long, only took me a few hours to read--more like having a long conversation.) He points out every single place in the Bible where the words for heaven and hell are mentioned, and where the concepts of heaven and hell are even inferred. He shows that these were not major emphases in scripture, either by Jesus or any of the epistle writers, or even John when he wrote Revelation (since he was mainly talking in metaphor about what was happening to people at the time he was writing, although it can and does still have implications for our present and future spiritual lives). Bell reminds us that in the Hebrew Scriptures there was not a concept of "hell" as we think of it (and I remind us that the story of Lucifer being cast out of heaven is not in the Christian Bible, but in the pseudepigraphal book 2 Enoch, written in the first century BCE). In Jesus' speech he mostly talked about "Gehenna," which was a real place--a garbage dump outside Jerusalem, where there were literal fires, as well as animals who fought and therefore "gnashed teeth."

Two important points Bell makes:

1. When Jesus talks about hell he's talking to people who are already "believers," people in the "in" crowd, the Chosen People--his fellow Jews. He doesn't use hell as an evangelistic tool. He's telling those who are already trying to follow God that they should really follow God instead of just doing it for show, which didn't do any good and only produced evil.

2. I hadn't realized this one before, but in Revelation where John talks about the new heaven, the new Jerusalem, there is a gate--but the gate is always left OPEN. One doesn't come to the pearly gates and get turned away. One can choose not to approach the gate, but it's always an option, according to John's metaphor here.

Bell mostly has a realized eschatology--meaning that mostly he thinks what's important is what life looks like here. It matters how we live and cause others to live here. We can't get ourselves off the hook by making someone say the Jesus prayer before we shoot them so that they'll be in heaven, or by destroying the Earth because it's only the afterlife that matters. But the Kingdom of Heaven is now--and it's then. Bell is more specific about the afterlife than I would be, saying that eventually we'll get physical bodies and there will be a physical new earth, which may be true I'm just not certain we know for sure. At any rate, he believes in an afterlife with God, but he says that there will be boundaries. Those who don't want to be with God can continue making destructive decisions that put them in their own hell, and God will keep pursuing them, just like the lost coin, lost sheep, lost son. God won't give up. Love wins.

He's not a universalist in that he doesn't think we all just get a free ticket to an eternal paradise, or that every way up the mountain is the same. But he does believe that God cares so much about all people that God won't give up on them, forever. They can forever choose not to accept God's love and grace, not to live into God's version of their story, as Bell puts it, based on the Prodigal Son parable. But they always have the option of accepting God's gift.

How does this relate to Quakers?

Well, I think this is a theology that is very compatible with Quakerism. We believe in the "Light Within," that spark of od in each of us that calls us to God, that communicates God's love and grace to us. As Friends have said all along, people can choose to stamp out that Light and not pay attention to it, but people can also choose to respond to God's Light and become more and more filled with the Light of Christ.

Quakers also haven't traditionally focused too much on the afterlife, but have lived out a realized eschatology: we believe that how we live now and how others live is important and has ramifications on eternity. Loving God IS about loving others and living in right relationship with them (and, many of us would say now, with all of creation). That is how we follow God, not just by saying a prayer once and then living according to a set of rules or stating certain beliefs (a creed). How we live is of exponentially more important than what we say, and I think this is Bell's understanding of Christianity.

All of this is important because of the kind of God we believe in. The God I believe in is just to the oppressed, but not just in the sense of "giving people what they deserve"--God for some crazy reason chooses to give us more grace than we deserve, and chance upon chance to live into the love lavished on us. We have choices, but ultimately, love wears us down, love wins.

preparing a message, part 2

Last week I posted about some of my process regarding preparing to give a message at my meeting. It's still about a week and a half away.

Over the course of the last week I've read commentaries and an article, and read the passage a bunch. In this particular passage, reading it in Greek doesn't seem particularly helpful--there aren't any huge insights that have come to me from it. The message isn't in the words, but in the implications.

Still, I looked at a couple other books that have to do with the words themselves, just to make sure I wasn't missing anything. One is a synoptic parallel, called Synopsis of the Four Gospels (two volumes: one in English and one in Greek), which means that it looks at each passage in the gospels and compares them to other passages telling the same or a similar story. (It also includes anything similar in extra-biblical sources, like the Gospel of Thomas). I can then see what words are exactly the same, what each author has chosen to present slightly differently, and whether or not other authors included that story. (In this case, there are parallels in Mark 14:3-9 and Matthew 26:6-13, and a somewhat similar incident in Luke 7:36-50. It's rare that a story is in all four gospels, so I probably should pay attention to that.) I also used a Greek tool called The New Linguistic and Exegetical Key to the Greek New Testament, also known as Rogers & Rogers (for the authors, father and son). It gives a little more information about words that are difficult to translate, ambiguous or obscure.

Mostly I've just mulled over the passage, both in times set aside for such pondering and at random times. I've paid attention to how it connects with other life events, especially worship services and other events at our meeting. I've also thought a lot about questions I have about the passage, and just let those reverberate around in my brain and spirit, seeing if any sort of clarity comes, and paying attention to other thoughts and questions that rise.

I think in some ways it's kind of hard to wait for a message on a pre-determined passage of scripture. I mean, if I absolutely didn't feel called to speak on this passage and changed to something that wasn't part of the sermon series that would be OK, but at the same time, I trust the discernment of those putting together the worship schedule, and I think it helps us settle in more deeply to be able to listen to Christ when we have a series of messages that relate to one another and draw us to focus on God from a specific perspective. So I trust that the message has/will come.

But usually when I give a prepared message like this (as opposed to standing in open/unprogrammed worship), I start with a topic I feel called to explore, or an idea I read in a book that sparked something in me that I felt called to share, or a passage of scripture that jumped out at me about which I felt compelled to share. But choosing a passage of scripture before a specific message has come to me is somewhat harder for me. I wonder how people do it when they preach from a lectionary every week???

Anyway, about the specific message I'm working on, I chose John 12:1-8, where Mary of Bethany (sister of Lazarus and Martha) anoints Jesus' feet with costly ointment. Although the details are slightly different in the parallel versions, the thing that remains constant in Matthew, Mark and John is the statement, "The poor you always have with you, but you do not always have me." My main question is, What does this say to us today? Does it say that since we don't have Jesus we should now make sure that we lavish love on the poor as Mary did on Jesus in this story? What would that look like? Are there still times where we are to pour out our treasure on God and God alone in a way that seems wasteful and ridiculous?

I think I'm kind of like Judas here--hopefully not with the malicious intent, but perhaps it's just as bad to always want to be practical. I think a similar thought--why wouldn't someone sell such an expensive item and give the money to the poor? Or better yet, why would a Christ-follower own something so expensive in the first place? The ointment she poured on him was worth about a year's wages for a day-laborer, so if we imagine it's worth a year of minimum wage, that would be about $17,500 (in my state). That's quite the wad of cash!

So two major things I'm pondering at the moment are: a conversation I had with a few people at a Wednesday night class we had last week, and a question I read yesterday. We're studying the book of John on Wednesday nights, and last week we were talking about ways that we relate to or feel similar to the Pharisees in John. I said I feel like most American Christians right now are more like the Pharisees than the Christ-followers in John: we are more concerned about following the rules of how we're "supposed to" act (most of which are just cultural and aren't in the Bible at all) than we are about actually listening to and following Christ. I talked about our congregation and how it's great in many ways, and yet we're all pretty similar. Would people of a different socio-economic status feel comfortable and welcome if they visited? Would they become part of our congregation?

One of the other people in the group told us she's had several conversations with people in our congregation who speak against the middle class, but she herself grew up without enough, and she's just grateful to be part of the middle class. So she wonders what's so wrong with being middle class?

That really got me thinking. I guess I feel like it's not being middle class that's the problem, it's the attitude. This woman's attitude was like Mary's--one of gratitude, and willingness to do what it is she's called to despite the cost. Many of us who have been comfortably middle class our whole lives have a hard time having this attitude, however--we feel too much of a sense of entitlement. We're not grateful, this is just how life is. It's easy, then, to ignore both "the poor" and any calls we might otherwise tune into that might ask us to impractically expend our resources in an irresponsible way, just for God.

The second thing I've been thinking about is a question I read yesterday. We're also practicing devotional reading of John during the time leading up to Easter, called "Forty Days with the Gospel of John." So yesterday I read about the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4, and the query for the day was, "If you knew the gift of God, what would you ask for?" It's talking about Jesus' offer to the woman of living water, but it made me think of the anointing passage as well.

My answer to the question was that I would ask for a release from all the details--all the cleaning and cooking and house repairs and paying bills and....

The woman at the well was asking for a similar thing--she's excited about Jesus giving her living water so she doesn't have to come back to the well all the time to draw more water. She could get rid of that chore!

I want to be like Mary in the story in Luke, where Martha is busily preparing a meal for Jesus and who-knows-how-many other guests, while Mary is sitting around listening to Jesus and not helping. But then what would they eat? Who's going to do all that stuff if I don't?

Mary chooses what is better, and I think in the anointing passage she does the same. She may not know why this anointing is important, but she knows it is. It's totally impractical. It makes a spectacle of herself, going in there where all the men are reclining at the table, letting down her hair to wipe off his feet, spending her family's savings, and yet, maybe she's received the gift Jesus is really offering--living water--and this is the only response she can think of with enough magnitude. She's living beyond the chores and duties, filling the world with the fragrance of pure love for God.

It's so hard to live in that tension, though--how do we know when we're supposed to live life with abandon like Mary, and when we should be practical and take care of the needs of others? How do we receive the gift of living water daily, and yet stay engaged in this world in which we find ourselves?

I guess that's the eternal human question, isn't it?

So I have all these thoughts and they're not coalesced into a sermon yet, but that's where I'm at right now. For part 3 I'll probably post the sermon after I give it--wouldn't want to give it away any more than I already have for those from my meeting who read my blog!

reflections on single-family chicken farming

We got chickens this week, as I mentioned in my last post! We got two of them that are a year old from my brother- and sister-in-law, as well as a coop that Joel fixed up. Then another friend gave us two more. Today we got two baby chicks!


So far I like having chickens. I'm not sure it's more cost-effective than buying eggs, but...probably better for the Earth because the eggs don't have to be transported, and the chickens are probably happier when they're not in a huge warehouse-chicken-coop.

For those of you thinking of getting chickens, here are the things we had to buy and/or assemble:

--Coop
--Fence & posts
--Chicks
--Chick food
--Chicken food
--Water holder
--Food holder
--Bale of straw
--Wood shavings (for chicks)
--Chicken scratch (so the egg shells are strong)

Most of these things should last for years, so although it's a bit of an up-front cost, it's not really all that bad. But of course you have to continue to buy food for them, as well as straw for their nests.

And they poop a lot. I cleaned out their coop from 4 chickens for only about 5-6 days worth (and part of the time there were only 2), and there was quite a bit already. It's not that bad if you keep on top of it, but I can see it being a really gross job if you wait too long.

The eggs are soooo good, though! The yolks are a deep orangish-yellow, and they're much more flavorful. It's fun to go out and collect eggs and eat them for breakfast!

We have had a little trouble with one chicken escaping, so we're going to have to clip her wings. That will be another adventure!

I'll keep you posted on whether we still like them after we've had them for a while.






For more pics of the baby chicks, see this post.

preparing a message, part 1

I'm going to be bringing the message to worship in a few weeks. As a Quaker, in some ways it feels a little bit strange to be so certain that I'm going to be the one through whom God chooses to speak on that day, and yet, there's something cool about digging in deep to do the study, waiting, questioning, listening and writing that can allow God to speak through me and allow others to connect with God. I thought I'd write a little bit about my process of how I go about preparing to bring a message in a Quaker programmed worship context.

First, I chose a passage of scripture around which to speak. I don't always do this first--sometimes I have a thought or subject I want to talk about and find scripture that goes with it. But this time I'm speaking in a series that's leading up to Easter. The series is entitled "Wondrous Encounters," and on Sunday morning and Wednesday nights through Easter we're focusing on the Gospel of John, so I chose a passage from John. The passage I chose caught my attention because I don't get it. I have a lot of questions, and yet it's a story that seems to have a good deal of depth. I chose the story of Mary of Bethany anointing Jesus' feet with costly ointment, and Judas says, "Shouldn't she have sold that and given the money to the poor?" Jesus says, "The poor you always have with you, but you will not always have me" (John 12:1-8).

I looked at the Greek text and did my own interpretation. When I do translations I look for any words or phrases that are difficult for scholars to interpret, and any words that are in a tense that means they would have stood out to those hearing/reading. Words like these I look up in Kittel's Theological Dictionary of the New Testament to get more context, and I do further study in commentaries.

Then I went to the library. This is where I got a little giddy...I was walking to the library with my 3-month-old in a front pack, and I was just bouncing with excitement that I got to go to my college library, go to the biblical commentary aisle and grab some books out to use. Total nerd moment! Anyway, I found an article on the setting of this story in John, and I also made copies from some commentaries on this passage. The ones I usually use are Interpretation (which is pretty pastoral--not too technical, just a general overview and some thoughts on how to preach the passage), Hermeneia (this one is my all-time favorite!), the New Interpreter's Bible (this one is also fairly brief and easy to understand) and the Word Biblical Commentary (this one is pretty technical and gives WAY more information than one needs for preaching, but it's interesting--to me--and sometimes gives insights that help answer questions about particular words or idioms about which I'm confused).

I've begun reading the article and commentaries, so that's where I am right now. I still have a lot of questions and I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to focus on about the story, so my next step (after finishing the commentaries) will be to sit down and write out my questions and thoughts. I also think about the passage on and off throughout the day, so sometimes stuff will come to me when I'm not actually working on the sermon.

As a Friend, I think this allows me to mull over something for a long time and allow the Spirit to speak to me about it. Maybe I'll get to the day I'm supposed to bring the message and something will happen to show us that I'm not supposed to bring that message on that day. But usually when I try to prepare faithfully, I feel the power of the Spirit in me as I deliver the message with which I've been laboring.

simple living: successes & fails

Living simply is one of our goals, because 1) it's cheaper, 2) it's better for the Earth, and, last but not least, 3) we feel like simplicity in life and in our stuff helps us focus more clearly and have time and space to respond when God calls us to do something. Sometimes we do better than others.... Here are some things I've been thinking about lately.

Success: We just got chickens! We inherited some that are already laying--that's our first egg.

Fail: After nearly 10 years of marriage and two kids, we're now a 2-car family. Our "new" car has more space but only gets about 17 mpg.

Success: We bought a house with my mom, so we're sharing space, mortgage payment and childcare!

Fail: We have a landline because it came with our cable/internet package (cable for my mom to watch football), and we each have a cell phone. We tried to go down to one cell phone and our iPod Touches for texts, but that only made life more complicated, although cheaper.

Success: We joined a CSA for this summer! Looking forward to fresh, local fruits and veggies this summer, grown by local f/Friends.

Fail: We suck at doing our own gardening.

Success: Cloth diapers. They're awesome, too! When E was a baby we used regular ol' Gerber cotton tri-folds and plastic pants. This time we sprang for the more expensive but infinitely better bumGeniuses. They are truly as easy as disposables, and last as long per use as a disposable. You can get them either with snaps or Velcro. (I chose snaps because I figured Velcro wouldn't last as long.) They are one-size so you can use them as long as your kid's in diapers. E can still wear them at age 4. I'll probably make a real post with pictures on the family blog at some point, and more details than most of you probably want about diapering...if you're interested you can check there, but I won't bore/gross out the rest of you with any more details...

Fail: Long, hot showers. I always tell myself when I get in the shower that this time I'm going to take a really quick shower, but...just one more minute, just a little bit hotter sounds so necessary in the moment.

Success: Free, used kids clothes and used baby accessories. Babies require TONS of accessories, and since we were moving back and forth across the country with our first, we got rid of basically everything as soon as he outgrew it. But thanks to an amazing community and thinking ahead last summer at garage sales, we haven't bought much baby stuff new, and only a couple outfits. Our 4-year-old has been the lucky recipient of basically all hand-me-down or garage sale clothes thus far, or FreeCycle.

Fail: Going out to eat/drink. We aren't as intentional as I wish we were about where our food and drinks come from when we eat out, and there aren't a lot of really good options nearby (unless we burn fossil fuels to get to them).

Success: Spent the day a couple Saturdays cleaning out the garage! It feels much better internally to have that stuff cleaned out of our physical space.

I suppose I could go on for a while, but those are the ones standing out to me at the moment. It's helpful to me to make a list like this because it reminds me that even though we don't live up to all of our ideals and can't perhaps live as simply as we'd like, we are doing some things that make our lives and our world simpler and more peaceable. I can get bogged down in the little things, but I can also be refreshed by them.